You just made me feel so damn special
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize
