Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize