i barfeds in our rink
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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