Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Randomize
