Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
