Sry I called you an 8
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
