you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize