when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Randomize