Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
