i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Randomize
