I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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