There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
