I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
