i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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