Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
