I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
last night I used snow as a chaser
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
