i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
She needs sedatives and a leash
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
They are going to name an STD after you.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
