her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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