I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
