Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
