Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
