We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize