You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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