oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
