The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
