Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
