You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
