That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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