guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
