I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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