The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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