Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
