Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
