Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize
