I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
