Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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