Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
