was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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