Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
