Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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