so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
