so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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