Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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