He is such a slut. More and more my type.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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