Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize