Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
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