i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
