I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
