Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
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