i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
