Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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