Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
