My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize