I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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