no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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